Rhythm

The girl:

“Write a story. Or a poem.”- advised the doctor. Nayna has always been an introvert person. She thinks it is better to keep her troublesome rushing emotions to herself than trying hard to explain it to someone. Nayna has recently graduated and on her way to pursue masters in literature. But her easy going smoothness of life interrupted with a tumult of broken heart. Her relationship came to an abrupt ending when her Beloved confessed to be irrevocably in love with her best-friend Souravi. The friendship also did not sustain for long when Souravi came in relationship with her ex. Soon Nayna chose to isolate herself from all the known faces of her college. She felt to be ugly, she felt to be rejected. Nayna’s mother observed her daughter leaning towards depression but could not do much help. At last she suggested Nayna pay a visit to Dr. Himadri Sharma, a well-known counseling psychologist.

Dr. Sharma spoke very softly and preferred to smile more than to talk or interrupt the patient. Nayna was not good at all at explaining what was going on her mind even to the doctor. But the doctor soon made out from Nayna’s rather distracted and disconnected account that constant loneliness and thoughts of self-worthlessness have led her to depression.

Dr. Sharma asked Nayna if she loved reading poetry. Nayna replied that she did but she was having a problem to focus on anything that despises distraction. Dr. Sharma smiled and said, “Write. Even if you can’t form a structure. Write your emotions. Whatever you feel like – words, phrases, anecdotes. No matter how meaningless it seems.” The doctor made Nayna promise to present her with a poem each week.

It was very difficult to put the emotions into words. Every time she wrote, it did not even form a sentence. After a week’s struggle, she finally put something in the paper that was pretty close to a poem.

Slowly, silently, a shadow creeps

Behind my mind with stealthy pace.

Till every breath becomes a labour,

Drop by drop pours the water.

The shadow jostles with my ribs

eclipses my soul

I drown deeper in fathomless depth

In a world where no companion is left.

“see! I knew you could write... and so well!” beamed the doctor. It also made Nayna a little satisfied. “No, it is not good enough... the rhythm you know...” Nayna mumbled.

-“ Oh please! Thank God I am not a literature student... the perfectionist!” Dr. HImadri said making a serious face. Nayna could not help laughing at the comment. Nayna tried to write again but she could not change the subject no matter how much she tried. All her poems circled around the themes of sorrow, darkness, night and sleep. Dr. Sharma did not mind. She told she was improving impressively.

The boy:

Mihir, a true fan of Star Wars and science fiction, loves to party and have loads of friends to spend time with. He was an extremely joyous and Live-life-to-the-fullest person till his mother passed away in a cerebral attack last month. Life never seemed to be so merciless to him. For the first time in his life, he tasted silence and loneliness. He listened to his favourite bands of all time, he tried watching all his favourite t.v shows in a row, he went to his best friend’s home to spend a few days but nothing helped to cope up with the emptiness that was eating him alive. He struggled continuously to find his early self, the way he really used to be. Spending each day with utter boredom was becoming unbearable to him. He found himself at a place and time where his own self seemed to be a stranger... he could not laugh, could not sleep or eat. He felt extreme anger towards life and at the One who took away the only person who could define ‘love’ like no one else. The first few days after the incident, Mihir tried to grab and cherish everything related to his Maa. To relive every conversation with her inside his mind. But after a week, everything began to change. Mihir felt more restless when he was left alone with his thoughts. The face of his Maa always flashed in his mind’s eye. Every moment he spent with her and every moment he didn’t choose to spend with her created a big mess of inescapable impasse....day by day her memory no more felt like a sweet essence, a place to visit down to the memory lane. Rather, each thought wrenched his heart with inexplicable pain, they numbed his body. He felt it was becoming more and more difficult for him – to live. He feared a single moment of isolation. He felt the thoughts were too horrible to live with.

“ Listen, Bro... let’s go to a club or a pub or a concert or something... you look terrible man... c’mon don say No now!”- urged Sudhir, Mihir’s closest friend. At last Mihir agreed to go to a concert of some rock band. Sudhir seemed to be more interested and excited to go to the concert with his new girlfriend Mishti. Though Mihir didn’t make a fuss about going Mishti with them, his spirit surely dimmed as he could guess that he had to spend the concert-time alone.

When they met:

Nayna was in no way interested in Hard Rock music. But this time she had to go to a concert where his cousin was going to play the key-board in the band. Rina aunty personally invited Nayna on behalf of her son to surely come to the concert. The concert took place near their home so Nayna thought at least to give her attendance and come back home within an hour.

Having reached the concert, Nayna realised it was more horrid a nightmare than what she imagined it to be. The sudden flashes of glaring lights made her eyes startle, the deafening sound made her head spin. She soon made her effort to come out of the frenzy shrilling audience and at last reached the “exit”. There was a beautiful garden in the backside of the auditorium. Nayna sat on a bench and tried to calm her brain. Soon she sank so deep in her thoughts, she didn’t even notice the shaggy figure sitting right beside her.

“You don’t like the music?” – the sudden male voice shook Nayna at once.

-“ no, err.. I don’t understand Rock”- she muttered.

-“then why did you buy the ticket?”

-“ I didn’t... my cousin is in the band.. i got it for free! But it seems my brain is paying the prices”

-“I see.”

Silence prevailed among them for minutes which seemed to be a never-ending void. Nayna broke the silence.

“you don’t like Rock too?”

“ I liked it... before... but I’m not feeling like that now.” – the voice sounded hollow to Nayna’s ears.

-“ It’s okay” – Nayna said trying to draw a smile.

The boy for the first time turned towards her and stretched his lips tiredly.

-“so.... Hi! I’m Nayna... and you are?”

-“Mihir”

-“so, what music you really like?”

_”Coldplay, Pink Floyd etc”

-“ I love Coldplay!”

-“ That’s great!” Mihir said with a prepared smile.

They both soon became comfortable with silence. Silence was no more a language of awkwardness. Rather it seemed to be the medium of communication without any utterance.

Nayna suddenly exclaimed with a child-like vigour: “Look at the sky... look at the stars!”

-“Look how they shine for you...” Mihir hummed.

Nayna smirked and sang: “ and everything you do... They were all yellow”

“COLDPLAY” they said in a monotone. They laughed. Genuinely. A new music of laughter touched their lips.

Nayna mused for a while and said in a low voice: “ I think we have the same rhythm.”

-“Rhythm? Like in a song?”

-“Like in a poem”

Mihir looked down. He seemed to be thoughtful and again looked at Nayna.

“ every poem has a story to tell...

so... what’s your story?” he asked mildly.

The next day:

The next day was Nayna’s last session at Dr. Sharma’s. Nayna handed over a parchment and slightly blushed. “here’s this week’s poem. Please read this one carefully and tell me honestly how is it. I’m planning to gift it to someone.”- she said.

Dr. Himadri read the poem:

When a day comes to its end,

I’ll paint your dreams in crimson of the sky.

If cold gust of sorrow lulls you in its charms,

I’ll fill your eyes with melodious sunshine.

If ever you feel like wandering in the dark of night,

I’ll sprinkle billions of stars sparkling and bright.

(So listen closely to what I’m going to say)

I promise not to leave your hands

NO matter how cruel a winter comes on your way.